Coffee, Rain and S.A.D.

S.A.D., otherwise known as Seasonal Affective Disorder … it is a strange thing. Many of us in the northern hemisphere are suffering from an intense need for Spring – a break from rainy, snowy, chilly or blatantly cold temperatures. For those of us with SAD, we have been desperate since the middle of October for May to arrive. This past winter, I chose to deliberately avoid all the coping mechanisms that I had employed in the past years: medication, sleeping with lights on, extra Vitamin C, deliberately moving OUT the door into living, forcing society on myself.

I chose to accept, in December when it hit hard, that this is who I am – I don’t do winter well. I don’t like Daylight Savings Time, especially when the government decides in its all-knowing way to mess around with the weekends it goes into effect and ends. I decided that I would just “go with it”, sitting and reading and not being social, knitting to my iPod or a movie or TV not being social , doing what had to be done, and no more. This worked out alright this year, until the last week. My temper has gone into overdrive, I am irritable and annoyed, and unpleasant. Is it spring yet? I cannot settle to knit, I’m having a hard time working, any sound I do not choose to hear is annoying. I need SUNLIGHT, warmer weather, and NO MORE RAIN! Is anybody out there?

I have knitting projects, UFOs, which I could be working on; I have work-work, chores, laundry, dishes – the day to day business of living to be getting on with, and no desire or energy or interest.

What is most disconcerting to me is the content of this blog so far. Most of my writing to date has had a twist of the lighthearted, even about serious issues. You know, facing the adversity and disappointments of daily living with a certain sense of the ridiculous and occasional hilarity. I am pretty darned funny, and I hope that shows up sometime soon.

I could even take a moment and congratulate myself on making it from mid-October to mid-March without losing my grip. However, that success seems to pale in comparison to the last several days of intense MAKE IT STOP RAINING, Please .. Powers that BE. Now!

This morning, for example, on the way in to my client’s office, the windshield wiper blade on the driver’s side of my vehicle decided to lose its clip grip, at 55 mph on the highway, in heavy rain, during rush hour. Not good. So, I get over to the shoulder, and get out of the truck (really SUV) and reattach the thing. I wait for traffic to clear, then move to open the door and get back in (getting wetter and wetter all the time). All of a sudden, a semi decides that THAT is the moment to move from the middle lane into the right hand lane and the back end of the trailer slides in the water on the roadway. All I can see is the back end of that trailer, coming at me and making a red smear down the side of my white truck. It came within 3 feet of my nose, being frozen in place like a deer in headlights.

Ever have a day when you should have stayed in bed? Heck, I even overslept by 2 hours, hence the driving in rush hour, when typically I leave early. Sigh!  I need the rain to end.

So, I came home early from client’s office, calling my friend who keeps my vehicle running, and had him do a safety check and FIX the wiper blades by replacing same. Fully intended to work at home, I did. What did I do? Blogstalked … nothing productive, not at all. And, I’m contemplating not leaving home tomorrow AT ALL. Will involve a certain fact transposition, nothing not true, just timed in other wormhole terms.

The grandkids are staying here this week for their wonderful Spring Break. So much fun they are having, watching the yard flood, watching the runoff from my yard down the hill make lakes and ponds and swamps out of the neighbors’ yards.

And, through it all, I hear music: “Nobody ever had a rainbow, baby, until he had the rain. Hey Tomorrow …” or “Day in, day out, my tear stained face Pressed against the window pane. My eyes search the skies, desperately for rain …” I have, so far until this very moment, been able to avoid hearing “Raindrops keep falling …” Sigh!

There are good things: Last night I made the most awesome brownies: with walnuts and chunks of chocolate that were still creamy melty when presented to the two people who were craving them yesterday. And coffee … elixir of the gods, really. The warm depth of aroma and flavor and satisfying goodness that is my caffeine addiction. COFFEE RULES!!!!

I’m off to try some self-therapy … fresh pot of coffee (natch), I think The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (really, since the satellite is out because of the rain, I have to have something strange to watch – including a certain amount of eye candy), and yarn. Yes, I’m going to go force myself to pick up needles, yarn and try once again (for posterity and openness, the third time) to read the pattern properly and decrease the raglan shaping on the fronts of an aran jacket I should have had finished a month ago. And, should I at some time in the near future figure out how to (a) link to photos on Flickr, or (b) get the photos I’ve attempted to upload onto my blog to magically appear, I’ll show it to you.

Coffee and yarn … and Sean Connery!  yep … a rainy Tuesday evening.